We won't sleep together?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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