I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
