This is not my ceiling
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
