"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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