people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
