Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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