no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
