): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
