Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
