Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
