Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
