The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
