I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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