What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
And then he peed in my hair
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