I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
