I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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