yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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