Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
