it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
