Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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