If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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