Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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