didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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