There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
nutella sex= disaster
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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