I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize