Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize