if i can run in heels then i can drive
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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