So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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