At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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