she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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