i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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