Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
