Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
