I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
