literally had 100 drinks last night.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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