Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
