the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
