I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
