I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
