I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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