Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
