but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
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Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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We had sex on a dog bed..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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