S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
