I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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