I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
