And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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