But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
