Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
