i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
