If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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