4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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