yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
