It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
