I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
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I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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