are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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