so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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