Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
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After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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