I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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