and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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