Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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