wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize
