"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
