This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
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If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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