a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
