I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
