I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize